Anyone, he wants to say. Anyone who is better, who can be even more useful, who would give more than he possibly could like this. It sits heavy in his mouth, almost sour. Castiel can feel it bubbling to the surface, wanting to be spoken and explained. If he could drive all that doubt from himself or Dean, if he could become stronger again so that he never let him down, he would take it in an instant. They're discussing befriending the other him, an angel with working grace that hasn't been subjected to his brothers and sisters abandoning the earth, someone who could, potentially, take from him what he struggled to keep, and it pains him to know that jealously when there should be no reason for it. Dean's words give him some hope, a wavering sense of accomplishment that's drowned out when he's kissed, but it doesn't completely negate it.
At least they have this, he supposes. At least this is theirs, and he leans into it without complaint, sucks at his bottom lip and nips at the edge of his tongue. Maybe he's needed this since seeing the other Dean, since dealing with someone who should know you just as well as you know yourself and doesn't. Maybe he's just needed the perfect excuse to put his hands on him.
Castiel stumbles a little when Dean pulls, but he doesn't resist, following after almost too willingly and opening his eyes to look at him. This is... more insistent than anything either of them have taken besides those shared kisses, and it makes his blood warm, makes his skin heat at the thought. He gently eases to his knees on the bed and curls his fingers around Dean's, silently demanding as he pulls him down so they're level. So he can rest their foreheads together for only a moment before pressing to kiss him again and wrap himself around him. Closer, he needs to be closer.
There's a sharp breath, deciding to switch tactics. Switch moves just as they've switched positions. ]
I've been thinking. [ He mumbles it against his mouth, licking at the corner. Feeling the need to elaborate, Castiel sighs. ] About you.
no subject
Anyone, he wants to say. Anyone who is better, who can be even more useful, who would give more than he possibly could like this. It sits heavy in his mouth, almost sour. Castiel can feel it bubbling to the surface, wanting to be spoken and explained. If he could drive all that doubt from himself or Dean, if he could become stronger again so that he never let him down, he would take it in an instant. They're discussing befriending the other him, an angel with working grace that hasn't been subjected to his brothers and sisters abandoning the earth, someone who could, potentially, take from him what he struggled to keep, and it pains him to know that jealously when there should be no reason for it. Dean's words give him some hope, a wavering sense of accomplishment that's drowned out when he's kissed, but it doesn't completely negate it.
At least they have this, he supposes. At least this is theirs, and he leans into it without complaint, sucks at his bottom lip and nips at the edge of his tongue. Maybe he's needed this since seeing the other Dean, since dealing with someone who should know you just as well as you know yourself and doesn't. Maybe he's just needed the perfect excuse to put his hands on him.
Castiel stumbles a little when Dean pulls, but he doesn't resist, following after almost too willingly and opening his eyes to look at him. This is... more insistent than anything either of them have taken besides those shared kisses, and it makes his blood warm, makes his skin heat at the thought. He gently eases to his knees on the bed and curls his fingers around Dean's, silently demanding as he pulls him down so they're level. So he can rest their foreheads together for only a moment before pressing to kiss him again and wrap himself around him. Closer, he needs to be closer.
There's a sharp breath, deciding to switch tactics. Switch moves just as they've switched positions. ]
I've been thinking. [ He mumbles it against his mouth, licking at the corner. Feeling the need to elaborate, Castiel sighs. ] About you.
[ About how much he's sure he wants him. ]