[ He's almost surprised by the force of it, how ruthless and demanding it sounds. Once, it wouldn't have mattered, and maybe, once, this wouldn't have mattered either. But he doesn't understand what's going on, why he's being like this. Things were fine, things were okay before. They had fun, and they actually enjoyed being around each other in a way that was more than physical. Castiel had had his friend, and that was all that had mattered to him. Even killing him-- Even then, it was better than what they'd had. He doesn't want to go back to that, and he clings to it more fiercely than anything he's ever tried to hold onto.
He's digging in now, standing his ground and refusing to let Dean past him. He wants... This isn't about what he wants, but it is. And this is about what he's doing to both of them by saying those things. ]
Why? Tell me why, and maybe I'll understand. I thought-- [ He shakes his head, and he feels dizzy, sick. ] Why can't you?
[ And now. Now, his voice is small and soft and uncertain, trying to wrap his mind around it and getting nothing for it. ]
no subject
No.
[ He's almost surprised by the force of it, how ruthless and demanding it sounds. Once, it wouldn't have mattered, and maybe, once, this wouldn't have mattered either. But he doesn't understand what's going on, why he's being like this. Things were fine, things were okay before. They had fun, and they actually enjoyed being around each other in a way that was more than physical. Castiel had had his friend, and that was all that had mattered to him. Even killing him-- Even then, it was better than what they'd had. He doesn't want to go back to that, and he clings to it more fiercely than anything he's ever tried to hold onto.
He's digging in now, standing his ground and refusing to let Dean past him. He wants... This isn't about what he wants, but it is. And this is about what he's doing to both of them by saying those things. ]
Why? Tell me why, and maybe I'll understand. I thought-- [ He shakes his head, and he feels dizzy, sick. ] Why can't you?
[ And now. Now, his voice is small and soft and uncertain, trying to wrap his mind around it and getting nothing for it. ]