[ cas is making it complicated where dean wanted simplicity, wanted the black and white of everything. this is why he didn't want to run into cas, knew it would invite trouble and doubt in what he's trying to make himself believe. but then cas has always managed that, had wormed his way beyond those shields, had made dean yearn for things he hasn't felt in years. all of those things though, all of it turns into pain when something like london happens.
and he doesn't want to do that to cas again. can't.
the ring is a heavy reminder where it presses against his fingers, where cas looks at him with such need, such strength and vulnerability that it leaves dean almost shaking. he wants to lean in, to be alright with this, to embrace cas after emerging from death...
but instead all he does is choke out; ]
I can't.
[ he has to remain strong. he pushes away the hand holding his, holding the ring. ]
I won't be better off without you, but that's the point.
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and he doesn't want to do that to cas again. can't.
the ring is a heavy reminder where it presses against his fingers, where cas looks at him with such need, such strength and vulnerability that it leaves dean almost shaking. he wants to lean in, to be alright with this, to embrace cas after emerging from death...
but instead all he does is choke out; ]
I can't.
[ he has to remain strong. he pushes away the hand holding his, holding the ring. ]
I won't be better off without you, but that's the point.