it's all building up and mixing, the need for this, for cas, and the determination and anger to leave. he has to, he can't get distracted by the hot, familiar shape of cas' mouth peppering and sucking kisses into his skin, of those hands smoothing down his body, clinging to his clothing like dean might disappear on him.
if he could allow himself this, he'd chase away those pleas, the worry he reads in cas' eyes. he doesn't want to be the reason for it, never has... but like always, he is, is inflicting more pain on his friend than necessary.
but it has to be so.
there's something of a groan, but the moment those hands are on his jeans, dean's snapping back to reality. a harsh breath later, and he's shoving at cas, both hands on the other man's shoulders, pushing. ]
Enough.
[ it's not about him not needing cas, it never is. but he knows his friend will see it that way, and for the moment, he has to let him believe as much. it'll drive him away faster. or should. ]
I'm doin' this, and you're gonna be fine about it. Understood?
[ dean moves to brush past him again, leaving everything he'd packed behind. ]
no subject
[ stop it, don't push him.
it's all building up and mixing, the need for this, for cas, and the determination and anger to leave. he has to, he can't get distracted by the hot, familiar shape of cas' mouth peppering and sucking kisses into his skin, of those hands smoothing down his body, clinging to his clothing like dean might disappear on him.
if he could allow himself this, he'd chase away those pleas, the worry he reads in cas' eyes. he doesn't want to be the reason for it, never has... but like always, he is, is inflicting more pain on his friend than necessary.
but it has to be so.
there's something of a groan, but the moment those hands are on his jeans, dean's snapping back to reality. a harsh breath later, and he's shoving at cas, both hands on the other man's shoulders, pushing. ]
Enough.
[ it's not about him not needing cas, it never is. but he knows his friend will see it that way, and for the moment, he has to let him believe as much. it'll drive him away faster. or should. ]
I'm doin' this, and you're gonna be fine about it. Understood?
[ dean moves to brush past him again, leaving everything he'd packed behind. ]
We're done here.