[ it should be comforting, what castiel says. instead, dean just makes a low sound, not agreeing because it's not that simple, not at all. if sam is choosing lucifer over him, in any way, then that's it. they've lost him-- are losing him, just like they had back home all those years ago.
and dean feels like he has no one else to blame except himself. ]
How--
[ alcohol blinds his mind, makes everything miserable and muddy now that he's letting it. there's no changing anything this time, even if they do know how it can all go down. no, this time it's just them watching it all unfold the same, helplessly losing sam all over again.
dean leans closer then, rests his forehead on cas' shoulder and sucks in another breath, stance unsteady even where he still has cas against the wall. it's about as close to a hug as he's been to the other man in years which is why it only lasts a beat or two-- right until dean's pushing away, taking steps back and turning. ]
Whatever. We're done here.
[ or would be if dean didn't stumble with his next step, whoops. ]
no subject
and dean feels like he has no one else to blame except himself. ]
How--
[ alcohol blinds his mind, makes everything miserable and muddy now that he's letting it. there's no changing anything this time, even if they do know how it can all go down. no, this time it's just them watching it all unfold the same, helplessly losing sam all over again.
dean leans closer then, rests his forehead on cas' shoulder and sucks in another breath, stance unsteady even where he still has cas against the wall. it's about as close to a hug as he's been to the other man in years which is why it only lasts a beat or two-- right until dean's pushing away, taking steps back and turning. ]
Whatever. We're done here.
[ or would be if dean didn't stumble with his next step, whoops. ]