[ If it's more than he deserves, then Castiel deserves even less.
Still, he wants him to move, and he wants him to roll his hips. He wants him to use him until he can't see straight and the only thing he's able to do is barely breathe. He can feel how close he is, fingers gliding easy over them from the mixture of fluid gathering, and he resists the urge to withdraw, taste what he thinks he might possibly be missing. It's all the same, he supposes, but it's Dean, and that's infinitely different than someone else's or his own. A deeper sigh, and he stretches out even more, the heel of his foot pushing against Dean's lower thigh to encourage him to thrust. Move, do something. Touch him even more than the simple hold he has on the hand pressing them together.
Cock to cock, and he can't even imagine what it would feel like having him stretching him open. To actually- - Castiel's breath rushes from him in a sharp gasp. He can't think about that now. Absolutely can't. ]
I, I have you. [ It's low, licked into the corner of Dean's mouth in a hard kiss, warmth spreading across his belly and causing him to shudder, to jerk against him.
He reaches up to absently, instinctively dig the fingers of his other hand into the bright imprint of that mark scarred into his skin for a better grip. It's like sliding home, lining up and taking what he'd been ordered to free to keep for his very own. Castiel burns with it, a flash of memory in the depths of Hell and clawing his way to the surface, and he clutches at him, grinds against him and strokes faster. He presses his mouth to his cheek, draws him in as he breathes the words oh so quietly to him. ]
I've always had you.
[ And now it's this, now it's them. He makes a noise in the back of his throat and mumbles please please please into the kiss he gives him, biting into his lip and hanging just over the edge. Waiting for him. ]
[ dean's hand works roughly around both of them, nothing gentle about the grip, all intent and purpose. he's used to lonely nights with just his hand, has been fine with them right until this moment. from now on, he knows-- nothing will be enough again, that going about this solo will ever be okay again.
a part of him hates this change, that cas has made him weaker.
not that it registers now, or has him pulling away. if anything, the thought alone makes dean press impossibly closer, hips working a growing, urgent rhythm. ]
Cas, Cas--
[ the chant is quiet as dean's breath stutters, leaves him with a moan.
dean remotely feels cas' hand sliding up his shoulder, but it's when that familiar hand locks over an ever-present mark in his skin, when cas whispers i've always had you, which tugs at him somewhere deep, pulls at his very soul in the way cas must have when he'd raised him from hell all those years ago. it's simple, the words, but he feels them burn inside of him, shoving him right over the edge. where dean's mouth was spread messily over cas', he's now biting down on the side of cas' upper neck, muffling the deep sound which escapes him as it all crashes around him. pleasure numbs his entire body for those blissful, drawn out seconds which drive his hips to roll against the grip around their cocks-- spilling himself over his hand, over cas' lower body, marking and staining.
breathing heavy, he's buried his face against cas' skin, hand unmoving, body on fire with warmth, with the release of pleasure pooling in his stomach, relaxing his bone, his entire being. cas has left him blissfully content, even if only for now.
and finished him much faster than dean ever fucking remembers coming. fuck. ]
[ He encourages it, whatever he gives him, and even through the roughness, through the bites and the hard grip he has on his dick, Castiel pushes past it. He licks at his mouth, digging his fingers into the flesh of his arm and holding tight, working him through his orgasm when it hits and shuddering beneath him as his own tips and sways. Closer, teasing. The warmth soaking into him seems to do it though, a final shove that punches a harsh groan out of him as his body takes over and locks up.
Castiel wraps himself around Dean, curling his leg tighter against his hip as his hand slides from his arm to the back of his head. He breathes against that mouth, panting out what might have been his name as he slides through the pleasure. Just something soft, quiet as he rocks and leans and rubs against him to draw it out. It's less than a minute, but it feels so much longer, unwinding and falling into place against him.
He allows his hand to fall away, shivering a little with the lack of the contact. Absently, he wipes his fingers clean and pushes to cup the back of the other man's neck so he cradles him in both hands. ]
Dean--
[ It's quiet, a murmur that's only meant to be shared between the two of them, and despite having Dean's face pressed against him, Castiel turns his head to kiss at his forehead. Whatever he can reach, he presses his mouth to, and it's as if something heavy has lifted from them, welding them together. Strong and inseparable. It's a terrifying notion, unsure if he can give Dean what he should be given before it gets to be too much and he runs from it.
Like he always does.
But rather than focus on those things, on the thoughts threatening to swim in his head through the aftermath, he shifts and stretches against him, a lazy roll of his hips to push them together again. If he thinks this is over, perhaps he should reconsider. Castiel has only taken the edge off. ]
[ through the haze, dean feels cas tighten up, groan loud and it feeds that still glowing pleasure in dean-- knowing cas is experiencing this with him. he drinks in the sounds, quiet breaths pressed into cas' skin as answer, feeling the way cas' body pulses. it's all so hot, but for right now he just wants to stay in this moment with him, now that they've finally gotten this far.
it's a little scary, but dean doesn't have the mind to think about it just yet.
fingers push against the back of his neck, and dean feels the shape of lips on his forehead, morphing the moment into something warm, content and happy. he could get used to this, knows he shouldn't, but for now it's so good, so nice-- nicer than anything he's shared with someone before.
naturally, it would be cas.
slowly, he looks at him, green finding blue, the lazy roll hitting him just right, has dean breathing a quiet groan. ]
[ Maybe it is scary, but there are some things he hasn't allowed himself to feel to a degree. Given that he's so powerless now, the fear is nothing but a normal emotion anymore, and he accepts it with all the understanding he's gained and all the knowledge that's crammed into the mortal shell he is.
If that means this uncertainty and what any of it could possibly bring in the future, so be it.
The look, for all that it is and what it might be, causes him to smile, and he lets out a breath, something soft and quiet as he nudges his cheek with his nose and kisses him again. Once, twice. The third is directly on his lips, and despite the desire for more, he also doesn't want to ruin this moment. He wants to keep it, cradle it close and never let it go. ]
You. [ Castiel hums the word. ] I want you.
[ It's a line. He knows it's a line, and it would probably be utterly lame if not for the sincerity behind it. For as long as he can manage it, he wants all of this. At peace, for once, with the guilt and overbearing weight of uselessness. Selfish to keep what he's never had and can't seem to get enough of now that's he tasted it. Even after all this time, Dean is still teaching him and still surprising him.
He leans in and pulls him down. i want you closer ]
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indecadence) wrote2013-05-24 08:48 pm
no subject
Still, he wants him to move, and he wants him to roll his hips. He wants him to use him until he can't see straight and the only thing he's able to do is barely breathe. He can feel how close he is, fingers gliding easy over them from the mixture of fluid gathering, and he resists the urge to withdraw, taste what he thinks he might possibly be missing. It's all the same, he supposes, but it's Dean, and that's infinitely different than someone else's or his own. A deeper sigh, and he stretches out even more, the heel of his foot pushing against Dean's lower thigh to encourage him to thrust. Move, do something. Touch him even more than the simple hold he has on the hand pressing them together.
Cock to cock, and he can't even imagine what it would feel like having him stretching him open. To actually- - Castiel's breath rushes from him in a sharp gasp. He can't think about that now. Absolutely can't. ]
I, I have you. [ It's low, licked into the corner of Dean's mouth in a hard kiss, warmth spreading across his belly and causing him to shudder, to jerk against him.
He reaches up to absently, instinctively dig the fingers of his other hand into the bright imprint of that mark scarred into his skin for a better grip. It's like sliding home, lining up and taking what he'd been ordered to free to keep for his very own. Castiel burns with it, a flash of memory in the depths of Hell and clawing his way to the surface, and he clutches at him, grinds against him and strokes faster. He presses his mouth to his cheek, draws him in as he breathes the words oh so quietly to him. ]
I've always had you.
[ And now it's this, now it's them. He makes a noise in the back of his throat and mumbles please please please into the kiss he gives him, biting into his lip and hanging just over the edge. Waiting for him. ]
no subject
a part of him hates this change, that cas has made him weaker.
not that it registers now, or has him pulling away. if anything, the thought alone makes dean press impossibly closer, hips working a growing, urgent rhythm. ]
Cas, Cas--
[ the chant is quiet as dean's breath stutters, leaves him with a moan.
dean remotely feels cas' hand sliding up his shoulder, but it's when that familiar hand locks over an ever-present mark in his skin, when cas whispers i've always had you, which tugs at him somewhere deep, pulls at his very soul in the way cas must have when he'd raised him from hell all those years ago. it's simple, the words, but he feels them burn inside of him, shoving him right over the edge. where dean's mouth was spread messily over cas', he's now biting down on the side of cas' upper neck, muffling the deep sound which escapes him as it all crashes around him. pleasure numbs his entire body for those blissful, drawn out seconds which drive his hips to roll against the grip around their cocks-- spilling himself over his hand, over cas' lower body, marking and staining.
breathing heavy, he's buried his face against cas' skin, hand unmoving, body on fire with warmth, with the release of pleasure pooling in his stomach, relaxing his bone, his entire being. cas has left him blissfully content, even if only for now.
and finished him much faster than dean ever fucking remembers coming. fuck. ]
no subject
Castiel wraps himself around Dean, curling his leg tighter against his hip as his hand slides from his arm to the back of his head. He breathes against that mouth, panting out what might have been his name as he slides through the pleasure. Just something soft, quiet as he rocks and leans and rubs against him to draw it out. It's less than a minute, but it feels so much longer, unwinding and falling into place against him.
He allows his hand to fall away, shivering a little with the lack of the contact. Absently, he wipes his fingers clean and pushes to cup the back of the other man's neck so he cradles him in both hands. ]
Dean--
[ It's quiet, a murmur that's only meant to be shared between the two of them, and despite having Dean's face pressed against him, Castiel turns his head to kiss at his forehead. Whatever he can reach, he presses his mouth to, and it's as if something heavy has lifted from them, welding them together. Strong and inseparable. It's a terrifying notion, unsure if he can give Dean what he should be given before it gets to be too much and he runs from it.
Like he always does.
But rather than focus on those things, on the thoughts threatening to swim in his head through the aftermath, he shifts and stretches against him, a lazy roll of his hips to push them together again. If he thinks this is over, perhaps he should reconsider. Castiel has only taken the edge off. ]
no subject
it's a little scary, but dean doesn't have the mind to think about it just yet.
fingers push against the back of his neck, and dean feels the shape of lips on his forehead, morphing the moment into something warm, content and happy. he could get used to this, knows he shouldn't, but for now it's so good, so nice-- nicer than anything he's shared with someone before.
naturally, it would be cas.
slowly, he looks at him, green finding blue, the lazy roll hitting him just right, has dean breathing a quiet groan. ]
Tell me what you want.
[ and he'll try to make it so. ]
no subject
If that means this uncertainty and what any of it could possibly bring in the future, so be it.
The look, for all that it is and what it might be, causes him to smile, and he lets out a breath, something soft and quiet as he nudges his cheek with his nose and kisses him again. Once, twice. The third is directly on his lips, and despite the desire for more, he also doesn't want to ruin this moment. He wants to keep it, cradle it close and never let it go. ]
You. [ Castiel hums the word. ] I want you.
[ It's a line. He knows it's a line, and it would probably be utterly lame if not for the sincerity behind it. For as long as he can manage it, he wants all of this. At peace, for once, with the guilt and overbearing weight of uselessness. Selfish to keep what he's never had and can't seem to get enough of now that's he tasted it. Even after all this time, Dean is still teaching him and still surprising him.
He leans in and pulls him down. i want you closer ]